Yoga Journal: Entry 1

It's been a few weeks since I decided to commit myself to yoga and a healthier lifestyle. So far it has been an interesting journey.

It has been a struggle to fully commit to yoga. I have been attending yoga classes every now and then since freshman year of college. (For reference, I am now a junior.) I always loved the high that I felt after class. I was shaky and exhausted but I felt like my body appreciated the work and that all the sweat was flushing my system. But then I wouldn't return for weeks or months at a time. Excuses piled up. I am prone to headaches and any time I felt one coming on, the last place I wanted to be was at my mat in downward dog. I am claustrophobic so I do not like being in a crowded studio, too close to sweaty people. And so, my practice remained fragmented at best.

This year, my yoga practice seemed to feel the same. My busy schedule was just another excuse not to walk to class. However, I started to think continually about the practice. While I am still not at the frequency level I would hope for, I am starting to increase my class number per week. One of the biggest motivations came two or three weeks ago. When coming out of half pigeon, yogis would pop their back leg up to give themselves a further stretch. I have never been able to do that. I was convinced my body did not move that way. But miraculously, one day I felt my muscle flex as I watched those in front of me reach back for there leg. When I tried, my leg popped right up. It's an incredible feeling to be able to do something that just a day or two before seemed impossible.

In class earlier this week, I had yet another new experience. Whenever the instructor has us in a particularly challenging position, he tells us to feel the heat. I always thought I knew what heat he was talking about. I was sweating buckets after all. But this class, while in a long and tortuous downward dog, I did not let myself quit. While pushing myself to the limit, I felt "the heat" in a way I never have before. It was hotter than that sweaty mess I was feeling before, but it felt like strength, not weakness. It was a great motivator. The next day, my muscles were sore, but I felt so much stronger. I finally felt like it was "paying off."

It's not just the physical rewards that make yoga so fulfilling. An hour class of yoga is like an hour session of therapy for me. Yoga is linked with the idea of  meditation. When you come to your mat, that is a time for you to focus solely on your practice. In a world of computers, cell phones, etc. it is hard to slow down enough to focus on one task. Multitasking is praised. Yoga is a break, an opportunity to put all your care and focus into one thing. In this way, yoga becomes a reward, not simply a workout. And I always remind myself: "The time to relax is when you don't have time for it" (Sydney J. Harris). Another  great lesson I have learned from yoga is a phrase that is often repeated at the studio where I practice. "You are so much stronger than you think you are." Often, we let our mind convince us we are unable to achieve something. In reality, if we go for it, putting in the effort rather than thinking about the possibility of failure, we are likely to succeed. Yoga has become a metaphor for life. The philosophy has inspired me on and off the mat, and because of this, the more I practice yoga, the more I want to do yoga. I am not yet at a point where I feel the need (or find the time) to practice everyday, but I do not doubt that I may get to that point someday.